


Death Dances the Salsa

by Chess_Blackfyre



Series: Adventures of the Savage Scarlet Hulk [7]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Suicide mention, don't worry it doesn't take
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-20 19:53:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11928069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chess_Blackfyre/pseuds/Chess_Blackfyre
Summary: The long and short of it was: Darcy died.You'd think there'd be more set up than that, but that's not the important part here.





	Death Dances the Salsa

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I'm not a huge comic book reader, so the only Lady Death I've seen was the one from the Deadpool Video Game. If she is radically out of character...blame it on that, I guess.
> 
> And don't worry, this isn't a major angst fest.

So it happened like this: Darcy kind of died.

 

There probably should’ve been more build up than that, but that’s not what we’re here for. The fact was, her squishy mortal non-hulked self was a lot more vulnerable to attack. (HYDRA was going to get a particularly brutal beating for this offense). But while the doctors were objecting rather strenuously to the idea of her shuffling off this mortal coil, Darcy apparently had the metaphorical appointment in Samarrra.

 

A rather friendly appointment, as it turned out.

 

She found herself in a grungy apartment, dancing to salsa music with the Lady in Black. It was a real statement on how odd her life had become that Darcy decided to just roll with it.

 

“Mm, it’s been a long time, Darcy.” Her dance partner greeted, etherial and otherworldly, but also warmly. Huh. Darcy wasn’t really sure what she was expecting. A Jamaican accent?

 

“Wait, Death?” She wasn’t sure how she knew that — probably the whole 'dia de los muertos’ aesthetic she had going on. “Where—what happened? And why are we dancing?"

 

“Your heart stopped, my friend. Don’t worry about not remembering, we spent a considerable amount of time in pleasant conversation the last time I visited you. Unlike then, our time is short. I need you to do something for me…"

 

“Wait, last time? Oh, right gamma bomb. How did I survive that, by the way?”

 

“That would take to long to explain. Same with your beloved, he can be quite the tease sometimes.”

 

“Don’t I know it. Well, you seem kind of nice—“ Darcy realized the irony of that statement “—so, what do you need?"

 

“My ex is coming to town, and I wanted to give you a word of warning.”

 

“Your ex? Who would you even date?”

 

“His name is Thanos, and he’s coming to your block of the neighborhood. He was the one behind the Chitari attack, so you know he means business. Normally I couldn’t get involved, but as you already met your fate in that desert, I’m free to tell you that—"

 

* * *

 

The entire Avengers sighed a deep breath of relief as Darcy’s heart once more started beating.

 

Darcy herself was just annoyed.

 

“I was in the middle of a conversation!” She yelled.

 

“What?” Bruce asked, in more than a little bit of confusion. Darcy grabbed the defibrillators, pressed them against her chest, and once more flatlined.

 

“WHAT?!” Steve yelled. (Then yelled a few more things that the author does not feel comfortable writing because they kiss their mama with this mouth)

* * *

 

"—You’re back early. No matter, I’ll get back to the important part. Thanos is a Mad Titan— ask Thor. He is extremely powerful and will kill the entire universe if given the chance.”

 

“Like, Hulk-level powerful?”

 

“Even more so, and even now, he searches for the Infinity Gems—again, ask Thor."

 

“So, super-strong guy wants magical jewelry that’ll make him even stronger. Then how the hell can we beat him?”

 

“…just because I’m a fundamental force of the universe doesn’t make me omnipotent. But he does have a fatal flaw: deep down inside, he wants to loose.”

 

“Okay, not immediately useful, but good to know."

 

Darcy could feel herself being pulled back again. This time, she was considerably less miffed.

 

“Don’t worry, I’ve said my peace. Good luck my friend.”

 

“See you later, I guess.” She left, and Lady Death continued to dance.

* * *

 

 

Darcy came back into her body, only to find herself strapped down and with any and all sharp objects very much out of reach.

 

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!” Tony yelled in her face. Wow, rude. “I can understand wanting to crawl off into that sweet unknown, but what the hell, Darcy?! There are people who love you, and care about you! Good lord, you made Barton cry. DO YOU WANT TO MAKE BARTON CRY?” (Barton was indeed curled up in a corner, not exactly sobbing but not with dry eyes. Steve on the other hand _was_ curled up in that same corner crying his eyes out)

 

“No…”

 

“Good. Now, I should probably let you talk right now. I, for one have found talking out my issues to be very cathartic.”

 

“So I can talk now?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Good, because I’m about to say something, and it’s gonna be crazy, so you have to promise not to judge.”

 

“No judgment,” Bruce affirmed.

 

“This is a completely judgment free zone.” Tony assured.

 

“Nice. Now, I spoke with Death, and I think that you’re all going to want to know what she has to say.”

 

* * *

 

“…and that’s what happened.”

 

Darcy ended the story, and was greeted by the sight of Avengers and friends wearing matching expressions of disbelief and mild fear.

 

It took a lot of discussions before they started to believe what had happened to her actually happened. Jane and Thor were the first to come to her side, citing Thor’s knowledge of the infinity stones and no, he’d never told her about this before. The others gradually followed, as well as slowly coming to the realization that Darcy had inadvertently just answered the most fundamental existential question of humanity’s existence: i.e., that there is life after death. Most of them decided to just set that aside and deal with it later.

 

No matter if they really chose to believe that, the Avengers reached the conclusion that if a major threat like the united Infinity Stones were to come to Earth, they would have to be prepared. That meant gathering allies, finding more people like them.

 

It was going to be one hell of a ride.

**Author's Note:**

> For those of you who might be a little confused: Lady Death and Darcy bonded after the gamma bomb turned her into the Scarlet Hulk. Darcy was dangerously close to dying when she was in that coma, so she and Death had time together. Darcy didn't remember it because of reasons.
> 
> Also, props if anyone picked up on a certain Cartoon Network show referenced in the text. :)


End file.
